Guns & Magic

 

 

Rosalind “Rose” Bainbridge – 35 years old, dark hair (though showing a few lighter gray streaks) held back with a simple metal clip. She is an “gunwitch”, ex-military. She served in the military, conscripted against her will because of her magical abilities. 12 years. Then she refused to serve any more and was “transported” to the New World. She didn’t serve any indentured time, though. She walked off the boat in New Venice and into the bayuk. She became a scout for the settlers and, occasionally, for the military. They (the military) resent her. She resents them. Rose uses magic but, through her training, she has to have a gun to channel the power.

 

Chal – young woman of about 20, native of the Central Amerigon sub-continent.

 

Margaret Laxton – 13 years old.

 

Thomas “Thorn” Ducoed – 34 years old, black hair, cut short. A “gunlock” trained in the same manner as Rose. He served 16 years, then blackmailed his way into an honorable discharge. He came over to the New World because the opportunities for abuse of power were much greater here. He relies on his charm and good looks and a lot of flatout lying to maintain a facade of legitimacy. He has worked as a scout up and down the river and through the bayuks and swamps, and striking eastward into the interior where most white men have learned not to go.

 

 

There is a war on. In the War of 1748 the English took a solid chunk of Central Amerigo and the territories around the Aztekan Gulf, including the major port city of New Venezia. That was six years ago. Frontier hostilities have started. Up until a few months ago, the hostilities had been largely limited in scope. Now war has flared up. The German and Italian colonies of the north (Kanata) and northeast have allied together and struck down the Tanasqui branch of the Misi-ziibi. There are rumors of another force striking from the area south of the Tanasqui River all along the river.

 

That’s all I’m going to get to tonight.

 

-David

 

I’m thinking that this occurs during a war much like the US Civil War, that is being fought up the Mississippi River. The English have taken New Venice and are striking upriver. The German-Italian alliance is falling back. And new, darker enemy has joined the fray. That new enemy’s involvement has, so far, been against the German-Italian alliance. That’s weakened their resistance to the English attack.

 

It occurs to me that maybe Rose saves Chal at the beginning of the book. She sees a group of sailors or rivermen or whatever-they-re-men laughing and dunking a young girl. Or trying to dunk her. They have her tied to a post and they lower her into the river. But the water never touches her. They think it’s incredibly funny. They’ve got themselves a witch what can’t pass the dunking test.

 

I like the “full circle” aspects. Rose saves Chal. Chal saves Rose. Though it might be a bit…pat.

 

My original thought was that Rose and Chal had been chumming around for a while. In fact, they could still be. The way they met could come out later.

 

In fact, I’m going to stick with that. They’re a team. They’ve been a team for the past 5 years, ever since Rose was transported to the New World. Which is not going to be called the New World. Instead, it’ll be called…something else. Or maybe not.

 

I’m thinking that this first run through the story will have a number of issues that will have to be corrected by research later on. Ah, well.

 

I had thought to do a run-through of the outline today. But Halloween got in the way. And running a D&D game for my son and some others this afternoon.

 

Maybe I can do one now, before I head to bed for an early night. Because I’ll have an early morning tomorrow.

 

-David

 

Historical Maps

 

 

Because a little research is probably useful.

 

-David

 

Thought: Rose sacrifices herself to protect young girls. In the end, it’s a young girl that saves her.

 

Gripe at self: Stop checking your email. Stop going downstairs to see what the wife & kids are doing. Stay in your damn seat and get this done.

 

River name: Misi-ziibi

 

Umoya

 

1. (Blue 1) Rose Bainbridge, 35 years old, dark hair (though showing a few lighter streaks now) held back with a metal clip, considers Fort Gunter and the summons of the Commander. She doesn’t want the job, but other jobs have been hard to come by. Ever since that incident over the “Bitches Crew”. Had she beaten the idiot with magic, she might still find work. But no, she had to beat the shit out of him with her bare hands. She observes new militia conscripts being drilled. She remembers her days on the drilling field. Commander needs 2 girls taken to a fort up the river where their father is. It’s a crap job. A job she’s getting because she’s a woman. She meets the girls. The older, Janett, is everything she despises about women: flighty, assuming, presuming–and beautiful. The younger, Margaret, though, reminds her too much of her younger self (not explicitly stated). To assist her–since she’s a woman?–the Commander insists she have help. Another former pistoleer, from her old regiment, Thomas Ducoed. The Commander will send the girls with Ducoed if Rose refuses. She knows Ducoed and won’t let that happen. Some people are properly mercenary. Some are improperly mercenary. So she agrees to the job. Against her better judgement. Sometimes children need to be protected. “I knew you’d take the job,” Ducoed says, digging at her old wound. “You don’t know me at all,” she says.

 

2. (Green 1) Flashback. 14 years old. The young Rosalind, fourteen and unbetrothed. No local suitors express an interest, despite the semi-wealth of her family and her beauty. Because she’s not normal. She has healed animals and even the dying mother of a friend. She knows she shouldn’t use her magic, but she has to. There has to be a reason she can do what she can do. Murmurs of “witch”. Her younger sister is considered more ladylike than Rosalind, and gets all of the attention. But when her younger sister is tormented because of her, Rosalind strikes out–she’s not sure how–and a young man gets hurt. Scandal. Parents upset. She’s not allowed to leave the house. She and her family are invited to some event. She doesn’t want to go, but her family insists, especially her younger sister. Her family stands back as she is shackled and told that she has been “drafted” into His Majesty’s army.

 

3. (Red 1) Antagonist. Ducoed (he never thinks of himself as “Thorn”; that’s a nickname from training and early service) organizes the expedition, plotting their route up tributaries and across the swamps. It’s not as safe, he’s the first to admit that, but it’s a route that won’t be watched, and it will cut off two days of travel. The main contingent of the reinforcements will leave 2 days earlier but they will reach the fort at roughly the same time. He lets Rose choose her personnel. Especially that dark bitch, Chal. Let Rose think she’s safe. Let her get comfortable and complacent. He knows her better than she does. He suggested her to the Commander. Her presence has the dual purpose of reassuring the Commander, and putting her in a position where Ducoed can use her. They set off up the river. Second night of the journey their boats are sabotaged and they are forced to continue on foot. Ducoed leads them into the ambush he knows is waiting for them.

 

4. (Yellow 1) Captive. Innocence. Margaret walks with her sister, Janett, but would rather walk with the stern-faced Rose. And not just because Janett complains about everything. Rose is a type of woman Margaret had no idea even existed. Margaret misses the comforts of England, and even the relatively primitive conveniences the city of New Venice, but she finds the river and the wild fascinating. And  even though Rose is as English as Margaret, the girl can’t help but think that the woman is part of the wildness around her. The sabotaging of the boats gives her the first sign that danger lurks. And then the ambush. And the running. Rose and Chal protect her–Margaret has never seen such magic before–and Janett, leading them away from the ambush, through the underbrush, over the swampy puddles. In the night, she hears Ducoed calling out for her. She responds, and runs out of the camp toward him. And cold hands grab her and drag her away into the night.

 

5. (Green 2) Flashback. Beginning training. Friendship. Trust. Rosalind begins her training in the Kings Infantry, specifically for the 101st Pistoleers, the “Witches Crew”. There are more women than men. Ages range from 12 to 22. Their drill instructors are men. Their “pistoleer instructors” are women, though commanded by a man. Rosalind meets Thomas. He came in very poor shape, having been beaten almost to death by his father before the recruiters arrived to conscript him. He is a year younger than Rosalind, and sensitive. She tries to take care of him. He hates the instructors, and they don’t like him back. He shows Rosalind what he can do (electric shock, learned from watching lightning; he frightened his father, who beat him, then died in an electric conflagration). Rosalind shows him how she can heal. They stick together in the training, as best they can. The instructors start to call them “Rose and Thorn”. When they find out she can heal, the instructors try to re-assign Rosalind to the healers, but she uses what Thomas showed her to remain in the infantry. He’s the first friend she’s ever had. She doesn’t want to lose him.

 

6. (Blue 2) Rose leaves Janett behind with Chal–pleasant to not have to hear the girl’s constant complaining–and sneaks after Ducoed, Margaret–and whoever/whatever the hell had ambushed them. Normal creatures don’t keep coming at you when you blow off their heads or burn off their limbs. They looked like animated corpses. But some of them were using guns, and a few were even weilding magic. Chal doesn’t want to be left behind, but Rose insists. At least one of the girls should reach the fort. Chal is to wait 12 hours, then head for the fort. Rose finds the trail and heads along it. She finds the camp, and she sees Ducoed and more creatures that look like walking corpses. She doesn’t see Margaret, but she does see a nicer tent, and the corpses are taking cooked food there. She’s seen some of the corpses eat raw meat–she tried not to look too close at whatever they were chewing on. After sunset, Rose wraps the darkness of night around her and tries to reach the tent where it seems Margaret is being held. Except that she finds another animated corpse in the tent. She finds that she is being ambushed–again! Ducoed anticipated her coming.

 

7. (Yellow 2) Captive. Naiveté. Margaret trusts Thomas. He keeps the … the … things away from her. The things had grabbed her and dragged her through the underbrush. They had held on with their cold hands despite her struggles. It was dawn before she saw them clearly, and she screamed and screamed. Thomas had come then and comforted her. He walked with her then. He didn’t let her slow down, but at least he kept the creatures away. She recognized a couple of the creatures as once being soldiers accompanying her and Janett. She didn’t understand why Thomas was with such … things. But he said he would take her to her father. He tells her that he suspected Rose of trying to sell the girls to one of the native tribes, and that the sabotage of the boats and leading them into an ambush was her doing. But Thomas had friends too, he says. They are headed to the fort. Thomas hopes to catch up with Rose and rescue Janett. When they finally stop walking, Margaret’s clothes are taken from her and she has to sleep in an ugly tent surrounded by the creatures. For her protection, she is told. She hears a woman’s scream just after nightfall, and gunshots ring out and magic rips the air.

 

8. (Dark Blue) Chal waits until Rose has been gone an hour. The water of the river calls to her, tells her of the oceans  beyond. But Chal has resisted the call so far. She can wait still longer. By then Janett’s constant nagging has become too much. Chal conjures a stone muzzle that wraps around Janett’s chin and head, holding her mouth closed. When she figures that Janett understands what she wants, Chal dissipates the muzzle. That conjuration might cost her, alert the Seekers that she still lives. And where she is. But Chal could never stand a whiney child. Not in 300 years. Janett stares at her and insists that Chal can’t be 300 years old. “You’re only a year or two older than me.” Chal doesn’t disagree. She leads Janett along Rose’s trail. She points out the signs she’s following, and helps Janett keep moving. After nightfall, they hear gunshots. Rose is running at them. Chal “goes stone” and deals with the monstrosities chasing Rose. Ducoed’s magic burns her, but not seriously. She drives him back with a conflagration of her own. That will call the Seekers for sure.

 

9. (Red 2). Antagonist. Ducoed hunts Rose, Chal and Janett through the underbrush. Chal–it couldn’t have been anyone else–had surprised him. He had never seen anything like that before. Where had Rose found such a one? He lost his left arm in that fight. But he uses the magic Rose taught him so many years ago to attache the severed arm of one of the walking dead. When he gets to the fort, he’ll take the time to cut off this replacement and use one of the captured soldiers to create a better one. Ducoed meets up with reinforcements, which are nec-tech meets steam-tech monstrosities. The leader of this group is a necromancer, a tall mixed-breed native and slave who gives his name as Umoya. Umoya asks for the girls and is upset when Ducoed tells him that he only has the one. Janett got away with Rose, but he knows she’s headed for the fort. Which is fine. That’s where they’re going too. They’ll have a family reunion. An army of the animated dead and necro-steam-tech constructs grows as he continues forward. His army. Or it will be. Once he delivers the girls and their father. The father can be dead. But the girls must be alive and still virginal. He can’t have the girls. He’s already had Rose. Chal, then. Moving through the night, they find the reinforcements intended for the fort and they attack the camp.

 

10. (Blue 3) Rose pushes them forward. They need to reach the fort. They pass farms and small villages that have been completely razed. Signs of struggle, sometimes lots of blood, but never bodies. Janett is surprisingly quiet. Hasn’t said much since they rejoined. They find the fort under attack and have to sneak in. Chal can’t help her, not so  soon after last time. But Rose can handle these Italians and their German mercenaries. The natives won’t bother her while she’s with Chal. Colonel Laxton, the commander of the fort, is happy to see Janett–but livid that Margaret is missing. And even angrier that the girls were brought. He had sent word that the girls should stay in New Venice. Rose tells him that no such word was received. Then she tells of the attacks on the farms along the river. Obviously, someone has interdicted the fort, beyond the Italians. Colonel Laxton tells Rose that she’ll be a good asset at the fort. Rose refuses to be conscripted. She’s done her service. If the Colonel wants her to take Janett back to New Venice, she’ll do that. The Colonel says he’s already lost one daughter to her incompetence. He’ll not lose another one. He gives her one more chance to willingly to bow to his command. Rose refuses again, and she is clapped in irons and put in the brig. Chal offers to sneak them both out, but Rose refuses.

 

11. (Green 3) Flashback. Rosalind and Thomas sneak back and forth to each other’s tents and spend long hours talking. Then holding hands. Then kissing. Then they get caught. Authority cracks down. Hard. Colonel Laxton, at the time a Leftenant, administers the punishment. Thomas tells Rosalind that they shouldn’t submit to the punishment. They’ve done nothing wrong. And they’re both stronger than the instructors, especially if they work together. But Rosalind won’t go along. She suffers her punishment as she should, as she’s expected to. Thomas strikes back against the punishment. The instructors and the commander were ready for him. They took sustained injuries, but they overpowered him and would’ve stripped him of his abilities except that Rosalind interceded for him. After his punishment is completed, Rosalind risks punishment again going to him. She tries to help him, but he pushes her away.

 

12. (Red 3) Antagonist. Ducoed’s forces reach the fort. Flying the Union Jack, wearing captured uniforms, they fall on the Italians and Germans from behind and tear into them. The forces from the fort rally, thinking that reinforcements have arrived. The besiegers are attacked from both sides and are destroyed. Colonel Laxton leads a charge out of the fort. He and his men only realize their mistake when they reach Ducoed’s position and can clearly see the nature of the forces around them. Ducoed captures the Colonel and slaughters his men. Umoya demands both girls now. Ducoed assures him that he will have the girls soon.

 

13. (Dark Red) Necro-steam-tech construct viewpoint. The view from inside the hell. His eyes are not his own. Nor are his limbs. Not even his heart beats any more. But he lives. Sharing his pain. Following orders. Destroying. Reflections on the origins of the enervating body and soul. Caught in a battle, sold at the docks, brought to a world of servitude. Escape, short-lived freedom, and then face to face with old magic combined with new. He fights because he has to. But at least he’s killing white men.

 

14. (Yellow 3) Captive. Credulity. Margaret is led forward through scenes of unbelievable carnage. Men are dead all around her. And amongst the dead, corpses walk and choose the more intact bodies, collecting them in wagons. Then she sees Thomas, and the tall black man. And her father. She runs to her father. Ducode separates them, then tells the father to go back to the fort and tell what’s left of his command to surrender. He refuses to do so without his daughter. Ducoed smiles and allows this. “You risk much,” the black man says to Thomas. “I’m not risking anything at  all,” Thomas says. They walk up the hill to the fort. In the fort, she sees Chal and learns that Rose is in shackles. Her father releases Rose from the brig and orders her to accompany the girls back to New Venice. He will lead his men in a final charge to distract the besiegers. Margaret stares at her father.

 

15. (Green 4). Flashback. More training. Rosalind and Thomas learn they can kill. Not just with guns, not just with magic, but with their minds, focusing through their guns. “When I pull the hood off of your head, you will look along the barrel of the rifle and shoot the target that you see.” Rosalind is horrified at what she can do. At how she follows orders. Thomas is upset as well, but gets over it before she does. He tells her, “I just imagine it’s someone else. Someone I want to kill.” He looks at the Leftenant. Rosalind misses their evening talks. Thomas almost never talks to her now, except when he has to. She needs someone to talk to.

 

16. (Blue 4) Rose tells Chal to go with the girls. Chal doesn’t want to leave Rose, nor does Colonel Laxton want just Chal with girls (she’s not English), but Rose insists. Rose convinces Colonel Laxton that it must appear like she is helping with the attack. Otherwise, Ducoed will know immediately what is happening. And besides, without her, the Colonel’s men won’t last five minutes. The Colonel finally agrees. Rose stands beside the Colonel as he asks for volunteers. There is no where to run. There will be no mercy from the enemy. He will fight, and those who are willing to stand by him, so that the rest might retreat. He organizes companies and tells them where to run to, by different routes, converging only after several days. Then they can head upriver to the next fort, or try to reach New Venice through the forest. The fort has water on 2 sides, so the choices of route are limited. They may have to fight, but they  should only fight to get through, not to win. Rose stands over the gate in full view of Ducoed’s forces, and unleashes the lightning that Ducoed taught her so long ago. The Colonel and his men charge out.

 

17. (Yellow 4) Captive. Honesty. Margaret huddles with Janett, with Chal standing over them, waiting for the signal. She clutches a pistol in her hands, holding it to her chest. She doesn’t know if she can use it, though. Her hair tingles as the air becomes electric and thunder rolls like a hundred cannon shots. She doesn’t hear Chal, but  she doesn’t have to. The native girl grabs both Margaret and Janett by their collars and pulls them forward, down the back escarpment of the fort, toward the north cliff that overlooks the river. Both girls stumble but they run. There are creatures coming at them, from over the lip of the cliff. And then others from the east side of the fort. Chal lets the girls go and her hands become edged with stone. A boom next to Margaret’s head makes her look at Janett, who has just shot one of the other attackers. One of the attackers goes down, but the others keep coming. Janett struggles with the powder horn, trying to reload–when did Janett learn to load a gun? Margaret’s never seen such a thing. But the attackers are still coming. And Margaret remembers her own gun. She pulls back the hammer, just like Rose told her, and points it at the nearest attacker. But there are more and more attackers. They come up from cliff and from around both sides of the fort. There are too many for two girls with gun, even with Chal. And then she sees Thomas, rising up over the edge of the cliff held up by a force of wind. She points the gun at him and squeezed the trigger, just like Rose told her. Thomas only laughs at her. Then Chal grabs her again–Chal’s fingers still hard and cold like stone–and Janett. “It’s time to answer the call,” Chal says, and leaps off the cliff toward the rushing waters below.

 

18. (Dark Yellow) The Seeker steps onto the battlefield even as the conflict rages around him. The Keeper of the Waters has come this way, has entered the battered fort across the battlefield. He knows that she is there no longer, but he cannot where she has gone. He must cross the battlefield to the fort, and then he can follow the Keeper’s trail once again. He bends the air around him, keeping his form unseen even as he slips between combatants and avoids the attacks of metal constructs that are not so easily fooled. Though the evil that surrounds him demands his eventual attention, his duty now is clear. The Keeper of the Waters is near, and she must be found. Her scent grows stronger and he can feel her use of power. And then he feels an explosion of power and the fury of the river roars in his head, deafening him.

 

19. (Red 4) Antagonist. Ducoed laughs at power Rose unleashes. And at the compliment the lightning displays. From where he waits he cannot see the lightnings, but he can feel them in his bones. He wishes he could be there to fight with Rose, like before. Fight her and take her once again. Kill the Colonel with his bare hands. But Umoya will lead the battle and deal with Rose and the Colonel and the remaining soldiers. Ducoed has other duties to attend to. The price of his immortality is the girls. And he will have them  now. He tells those with him to ascend. Then he opens himself to the magic of the world and has it lift him up the side of the cliff. Margaret sees him and points her pistol at him. He catches the bullet with a thought and deflects it. Then he sees Chal, and sees her begin to transform. He is amazed. What kind of creature is this Chal? With a girl held in each hand, Chal leaps for the cliff. Ducoed draws through his gun and pushes forward against Chal, his magic against hers. The blow staggers him, but he freezes her in mid-air. Chal’s drop is halted, but not her transformation. She becomes transparent, with hints of green and blue, still a woman but growing. Her body expands and her hands become columns of purest water encasing the two girls. He’s never seen anything like this, but he refuses to let go. Chal is now a sheet of water, like the crest of wave seeking to break over him. But he’s holding her back. And she is weakening and he is growing stronger. He interrupted Chal’s sacrifice to save the girls. And now he is getting what she sacrifices. She can’t stop herself. And when its over, he’ll get the girls too. Ducoed laughs.

 

20. (Blue 5) Sacrifice. Rose flies above the battle. She uses the pistols first, the power she pushes through them consuming them within seconds. Lightning and fire and explosions. She rains hell down on the creatures below. The constructs fell back at first, leaving their flesh-and-blood companions exposed to the onslaught led by the Colonel and Rose’s attacks from the air. Then the constructs turned and engaged and it was all Rose could do to stay aloft and alive. Then she began to understand the nature of the enemy’s tactic. The Colonel and his men had been drawn out completely. Their distracting attack had not been a surprise at all. The enemy now completely surrounded the men, and had cut off retreat back to the fort. Ducoed had ambushed her again. She looks at the Colonel, who is looking up  at her. “Go.” She can’t hear him, but his lips form the word. And then he falls under the hammer of a huge construct. Thinking only of the girls–and Chal, poor Chal!–Rose breaks off her attack, unlimbers her rifle and speeds towards the north face of the fort. She doesn’t understand what she sees. A sheet of water, with both Janett and Margaret, held in the air above Ducoed. And the power throbbing in Ducoed almost too bright to look at. She didn’t know where Chal was. She couldn’t save the girls. But it was time she did something about Ducoed. Even if it killed her. Holding the gun as if for a bayonet charge, Rose flies straight at Ducoed. She pierces the layer of water, pierces Ducoed’s force barrier, and runs the muzzle of her gun right through his chest in a burst of white heat that threatens to consume them both.

 

21. (Green 5) Flashback. “Come and see me tonight,” Thomas tells her. Their training is almost complete. They have their uniforms now, and they can drill like the best in the King’s Army. Thomas has withdrawn even more the past two months. She has tried to talk to him, but he has spoken to her less and less. When she goes to his tent, sneaking through the dark, dodging the posted watch, he’s not there. Then he is there, one hand on her mouth, the other running down her waist and hips. “I knew you would come,” he said. She’s dreamed of him touching her, and she wants it. But when she tries to turn into his embrace, he resists. Now she feels his magic wrapping around her, forcing her to the ground, spinning her over face up only at the last minute. “I learned that from the instructors,” he says. “When you stood by and let them beat me.” She tries to say that she couldn’t stop them, but tendrils of magic hold her jaw closed. She wants to say she’s sorry. That she loves him. But the words couldn’t come. And then he rapes her. She cries as he takes what she would’ve given him. When he’s finished, he rolls off her and removes the magic holding her down. She just lays there. “You could take your revenge,” she says.”Or try.” She sits up and arranges her clothes as best she can. “Nothing?” She goes out into the darkness. “I knew it,” he said.

 

23. (Yellow 5) Captive. Sophistication. Margaret struggles, but she can’t break the grip of the warm water that surrounds her. She tries to hold her breath, but eventually succombs and breaths in the water. She can breath. And she can taste Chal, sense the other woman in the water. Because Chal is the water. And Chal is dying. She can taste that too, the brackish flavor getting stronger. She looks at Thomas, floating impossibly in the air, holding up this impossible pool of water that used to be Chal. And she knows that Thomas is pulling the life, pulling Chal, out of the water. “Drink.” The voice in her head pleads. “Please. Drink.” Margaret drinks. The taste of death is strong, but there is still some life yet. And as the water enters her, the sense of life renews. Without knowing how she knows, Margaret knows that Rose is there. And then Thomas explodes and Margaret continues her fall toward the waters of the river. Except, the river isn’t falling. It’s coming up to her. And the roaring makes Rose’s explosion seem like a sleeping child’s breathing.

 

25. (Blue 6) Redemption. The blast, strangely cold and wet, slaps her back and deposits her on the edge of the cliff. She stumbles, her boots slippery on the wet rocks of the cliff. A hand steadies her. It’s Janett, also soaked. Behind Janett is a native, one that Rose has never seen before. Only then does she realize she’s lost her rifle. She spins and puts Janett between herself and the native. But the man ignores her. He’s looking up. Then he falls to his knees and bends his head. Rose notices she, Janett, and the man are the only ones on the edge of the cliff. Everyone, and everything else, has been washed away. Only the foundatioins and a few broken parts of the outer wall remain of the fort. And the battlefield has been swept clean. “I have buried our father.” The voice of a girl, impossibly loud, from above her. Rose looks at Janett, sees her looking up and nodding. Rose looks up and sees Margaret. The little girl is standing on the crest of a motionless wave. Margaret meets Rose’s eyes and smiles. Rose recognizes Chal’s smile. The little girl nods. She was Chal, she was Margaret. She is CHALCHIUHTLICUE now. The native man rises then. Without a word, he turns and walks away. With each step he becomes harder to see until he has disappeared completely. “I thought I was protecting you,” Rose says. “You were. But you don’t have to any more.” “What about me?” Janett asks. The goddess of the waters laughs like the rushing waters of the spring thaw, and then she is again part of the river.

 

After over 4 hours of working on this just this afternoon, I think I have a workable first draft of the outline. Or second draft if you consider that first sketchy, in-order sequence as the first draft. Regardless, here’s a draft of the completed outline.

 

I dropped 2 chapters, #22 and #24 because they seemed redundant. And I suspect that I will change the order of a couple of chapters towards the end. But I might not. And #13 needs a lot of work. Maybe a complete re-imagining.

 

And, no, I didn’t know it was going to end the way it did until I wrote it out. I’m not sure it qualifies as the redemption story I originally planned, but I think I can emphasize that some more as I tweak the outline. And then as I actually write the text.

 

I need to make the backdrop war more prevalent, I think. Hint at the undead army that is being created and brought to bear. That the main combatants have heard rumors of such things, but the tales are still largely discounted as fanciful fabrications.

 

Overall, I’m pleased with the story. But I know I’ll be working on it more.

 

Now to let the whole thing sit for a while. Gel, maybe.

 

-David

 

Panicking? Maybe.

 

Today, this afternoon, my Only Plan is to Finish the Outline. I’ll undoubtedly work on it tomorrow, as well. But I want tomorrow’s work to be tweaking, adjusting. Today is the heavy lifting.

 

I’ve found that it’s best for me to not belabor the story too heavily. It’s just a story.

 

But, with 1 November looming, belaboring becomes easy.

 

Take a deep breath…and to work!

 

-David

 

The Last of the Mohicans by James Fennimore Cooper. (I feel a bit foolish that I have repeatedly attributed this book to Nathaniel Hawthorne over the past couple weeks. Oops.)

 

I haven’t completely finished The Witchfire Trilogy Collected Edition. But I will. Unless a Total Party Kill aborts the campaign early…

 

-David

 

Between the Tulsa Nanowrimo Kickoff get-together this afternoon, and spending time with the family tonight (after grocery shopping), I didn’t sit down to work on the outline. It’s getting late now (12:36 am), so I’ll just make some notes about thoughts I had today.

 

 

More tomorrow. Though RPG prep might get in the way until late.

 

-David

 

I’ve decided to keep the name “Rose”. I’m not thrilled with the family name “Bainbridge”, but it does appear appropriately British, and even historical. It might be too prominent a British name, though, with too much historical baggage. I would love to find a list of names of women burned as witches in Britain in the 15th & 16th centuries. I think one of them might have a family name I’d like.

 

Until then, she’ll be “Ms. Bainbridge”. Or, more properly, “Miss Bainbridge”. Though she’s not too terribly concerned with what’s proper.

 

Fullname: Rosalind “Rose” Bainbridge.

Sidekick: Chal (short for “CHALCHIUHTLICUE” Mayan goddess of waters), girl

 

Antagonist: Thomas “Thorn” Ducoed

 

Sisters: Janett (17), Margaret (13)

 

Now then…

 

1. (Blue 1) A transport job goes wrong, wrong, wrong. Client lost. Betrayed by herself. Rose Bainbridge, 35 years old, dark hair (though showing a few lighter streaks now) held back with a metal clip, considers Fort Gunter and the summons of the Commander. She doesn’t want the job, but other jobs have been hard to come by. Ever since that incident over the “Bitches Crew”. Had she beaten the idiot with magic, she might still find work. But no, she had to beat the shit out of him with her bare hands. She observes new militia conscripts being drilled. She remembers her days on the drilling field. Commander needs 2 girls taken to a fort up the river where their father is. It’s a crap job. A job she’s getting because she’s a woman. She meets the girls. The older, Janett, is everything she despises about women. The younger, Margaret, though, reminds her too much of her younger self (not explicitly stated). To assist her–since she’s a woman?–the Commander insists she have help. Another former pistoleer, from her old regiment, Thomas Ducoed. The Commander will send the girls with Ducoed if Rose refuses. She knows Ducoed and won’t let that happen. Some people are properly mercenary. Some are improperly mercenary. So she agrees to the job.

 

2. (Green 1) Flashback. 14 years old. Betrayed by her family. Conscripted. The young Rosalind, fourteen and unbetrothed. No local suitors express an interest, despite the semi-wealth of her family and her beauty. Because she’s not normal. Murmurs of “witch”. When tormented, she strikes out–she’s not sure how–and a young man gets hurt. Scandal. Parents upset. She’s not allowed to leave the house. She and her family are invited to some event. She doesn’t want to go, but her family insists. Her family stands back as she is shackled and told that she has been “drafted” into His Majesty’s army.

 

3. (Red 1) Antagonist. Betrayal (of an “old friend”). Ducoed (he never thinks of himself as “Thorn”; that’s a nickname from training and early service) organizes the expedition. He has a job to do. He lets Rose choose her personnel. Especially that dark bitch, Chal. Let Rose think she’s safe. He suggested her to the Commander. Her presence has the dual purpose of reassuring the Commander, and putting her in a position where Ducoed can use her. They set off up the river. Second night of the journey their boats are sabotaged and they are forced to continue on foot. Ducoed leads them into the ambush he knows is waiting for them.

 

4. (Yellow 1) Captive. Innocence. Margaret walks with her sister, Janett, but would rather walk with the stern-faced Rose. Rose is a type of woman Margaret had no idea even existed. She misses the comforts of England, or even the city of New Venice, but she finds the river and the wild fascinating. The sabotaging of the boats gives her the first sign that danger lurks. And then the ambush. And the running. Rose and Chal protect her and Janett, leading them away from the ambush, through the underbrush, over the swampy puddles. In the night, she hears Ducoed calling out for her. She responds, and runs out of the camp toward him. And cold hands grab her and drag her away into the night.

 

5. (Green 2) Flashback. Beginning training. Friendship. Trust. Rosalind begins her training in the Kings Infantry, specifically for the 101st Pistoleers. There are more women than men. Ages range from 12 to 22. Their drill instructors are men. Their “pistoleer instructors” are women, though commanded by a man. Rosalind meets Thomas. He came in very poor shape, having been beaten almost to death by his father before the recruiters arrived to conscript him. He is a year younger than Rosalind, and sensitive. She tries to take care of him. He hates the instructors, and they don’t like him back.

 

6. (Blue 2) First attempt to recover the client, completely thwarted by the antagonist. Rose leaves Janett with Chal–pleasant to not have to hear the girl complain–and sneaks after Ducoed, Margaret–and whoever/whatever the hell had ambushed them. Chal doesn’t want to be left behind, but Rose insists. At least one of the girls should reach the fort. She finds the trail and heads along it. She finds the camp, and she sees Ducoed and some creatures that look like walking corpses. She tries to reach the tent where it seems Margaret is being held. Except that she finds another animated corpse in the tent. She finds that she is being ambushed–again! Ducoed anticipated her coming.

 

7. (Yellow 2) Captive. Naiveté. Margaret trusts Thomas. He keeps the … the … things away from her. The things had grabbed her and dragged her through the underbrush. They had held on with their cold hands despite her struggles. It was dawn before she saw them clearly, and she screamed and screamed. Thomas had come then and comforted her. She didn’t understand why he was with such … things. But he said he would take her to her father. They are headed to the fort. Her clothes are taken from her and she has to sleep in an ugly tent surrounded by the creatures. She hears a woman’s scream just after nightfall, and gunshots ring out.

 

8. (Dark Blue) Chal waits until Rose has been gone an hour. By then Janett’s constant nagging has become too much. Chal conjures a stone muzzle that wraps around Janett’s chin and head, holding her mouth closed. When she figures that Janett understands what she wants, Chal dissipates the muzzle. That conjuration might cost her, alert the Hunters that she still lived. But Chal could never stand a whiney child. Not in 300 years. She leads Janett along Rose’s trail. She points out the signs she’s following, and helps Janett keep moving. After nightfall, they hear gunshots. Rose is running at them. Chal “goes stone” and deals with the monstrosities chasing Rose. That will call the Hunters for sure.

 

9. (Red 2). Antagonist. Revenge (on that “old friend”). Ducoed hunts Rose through the underbrush. He meets up with reinforcements, which are nec-tech meets steam-tech monstrosities. He found the remains of the first pursuers. Whatever they tangled with, he’s never seen it before. Rose got away, but he knows she’s headed for the fort. Which is fine. That’s where he’s going too. They’ll have a family reunion. An army of the animated dead and necro-steam-tech constructs grows as he continues forward. His army. Or it will be. Once he delivers the girls and their father. The girls, anyway, alive and still virginal. The father, though, he gets to keep.

 

10. (Blue 3) Pursuit, antagonist ambushed, nearly loses the second client. Tables turned. Whole new problem. Betrayed by authority. Rose pushes them forward. They need to reach the fort. They pass farms and small villages that have been completely razed. Signs of struggle, but no bodies. Janett is surprisingly quiet. Hasn’t said much since they rejoined. They find the fort under attack and have to sneak in. The commander is happy to see Janett–but livid that Margaret is missing. Rose tells of the attacks on the farms which causes some dissension among the defenders. (Or something.) (This sounds too much like the movie.) Chal offers to sneak them both out, but Rose refuses. Rose is clapped in irons and put in the brig.

 

11. (Green 3) Flashback. Betrayed by authority. Rosalind and Thomas … hijinks go awry … they get away with it, mostly … Rosalind confesses, and authority cracks down. Hard. The current fort commander, at the time a junior officer, administers the punishment.

 

12. (Red 3) Antagonist. Mercenary. Selling out the old friend to some very unsavory people. Ducoed’s forces join with those surrounding the fort and the battle becomes hotter. With reinforcements, and especially with heavy constructs, the fort is breached. Ducoed pulls back and sends a message of parlay. He convinces the commander to surrender, and offers Margaret as proof of his good intentions. He generously allows the commander and his forces to leave the fort. (more movie madness)

 

13. (Dark Red) Necro-steam-tech construct viewpoint. The view from inside the hell. Sharing the pain. Following orders. Destroying. Reflections on the origins of the enervating body and soul. Caught in a battle, sold at the docks, brought to a world of servitude. Escape, short-lived freedom, and then face to face with old magic combined with new. He fights because he has to. But at least he’s killing white guys.

 

14. (Yellow 3) Captive. Credulity. Margaret can’t believe she’s back with her father and Janett. They prepare to leave the fort. She’s shocked when she sees Chal alone, and then sees Rose in shackles. They leave the fort in a procession. On both sides of their path, the creatures stand silent, not breathing, just watching. At the point where the commander is even with Ducoed plus entourage, Ducoed gestures and a large construct swings a hammer that flattens the commander. And the rest of the creatures use that as their signal to attack. Margaret witnesses the carnage, stunned. Janett pulls her back from the fighting and then into the trees.

 

15. (Green 4). Flashback. More training. Rosalind and Thomas learn they can kill. Not just with guns, but with their minds, focusing through their guns. “When I pull the hood off of your head, you will look along the barrel of the rifle and shoot the target that you see.” Rosalind is horrified at what she can do. At how she follows orders. Thomas is upset as well, but gets over it before she does. He tells her, “I just imagine it’s someone else. Someone I want to kill.”

 

16. (Blue 4) Trying to get away from the Truly Awful new badguys that have set their sights on Our Heroine. Betrayed by her family. Rose is fighting while shackled until Chal finds her and disappears the chains. Chal waves off Rose’s concern about the Hunters. It’s time to run. They run. They have to catch up with Janett and Margaret. They find a clearing, but its not natural. A perfect square as been hammered out of the greenery, trees and bushes and grasses, all flattened. Chal seems to get scared, and suggests that Rose stay here. Rose refuses.

 

17. (Yellow 4) Captive. Honesty. Margaret runs with Janett. From out of the woods figures emerge and surround the girls. They are natives, but not like the red men. Like Chal. The figures, both men and women, make no sound, but they make their wishes known. The sisters are to follow them.

 

18. (Dark Yellow) The Hunter is there for Chal. The child of the waters must be returned to the waters.

 

19. (Red 4) Antagonist. Murder. Ducoed …

 

20. (Blue 5) Sacrifice. Rose gives herself for Chal.

 

21. (Green 5) Flashback. Betrayed by herself.

 

22. (Red 5) Antagonist. Attempted rape.

 

23. (Yellow 5) Captive. Sophistication.

 

24. (Green 6) Flashback. Betrayal.

 

25. (Blue 6) Redemption.

 

 

The “trick” with writing for the antagonist is to look at it as his story. Not just his viewpoint. But his goals and plans are taken seriously. They are, for the duration of his chapter, the main point. He is the center of the universe. And he doesn’t justify himself. He is in conflict with Rose, even if she doesn’t know it yet. She may suspect, but she doesn’t know.

 

I’m happy with how far I got tonight. After spending 3 hours or so at the Tulsa Nano kickoff get-together, I wasn’t sure I’d get much done.

 

Almost 2/3′s of the outline filled out. I suspect I’ll be re-arranging some of it. Or just flatout changing it. But I’m happy with what I’m accumulating.

 

-David

 

I put in my Daniel Day-Lewis version of Last of the Mohicans (I only have it on VHS, not DVD; video is dreadful, but the music comes through) and I’m letting that play as I work. For a several reasons. One is obvious, I’m sure: It’s Last of the Mohicans, my admitted inspiration. The second is that the score is incredible. I love the music in this film (especially the piece called “Promontory”, which has recently been featured in an NFL commercial). The scenery is gorgeous, the battle scenes are incredible–too bad the movie itself is rather weak.

 

And last of all…well…Daniel Day-Lewis is hot in this film (at least, when he’s not talking). First time I ever looked at a man on a movie screen and thought, “I wish I looked like that…” All long unruly hair and constant stubble and dirty cotton and leather frontier clothes with a heavy-duty flintlock muzzle-loading rifle. I mean, really, what’s not to like???

 

But I digress.

 

First, I want to review my vague chapter ideas from last night in book order.

 

1. (Blue 1) A transport job goes wrong, wrong, wrong. Client lost. Betrayed by her family.

 

2. (Green 1) Flashback. 13 years old. Betrayed by her family. Conscripted.

 

3. (Red 1) Antagonist. Betrayal (of an “old friend”).

 

4. (Yellow 1) Captive. Innocence.

 

5. (Green 2) Flashback. Beginning training. Friendship. Trust.

 

6. (Blue 2) First attempt to recover the client, completely thwarted by the antagonist.

 

7. (Yellow 2) Captive. Naiveté.

 

8. (Dark Blue)

 

9. (Red 2). Antagonist. Revenge (on that “old friend”).

 

10. (Blue 3) Pursuit, antagonist ambushed, nearly loses the second client. Tables turned. Whole new problem. Betrayed by her friend.

 

11. (Green 3) Flashback. Betrayed by her friend.

 

12. (Red 3) Antagonist. Mercenary. Selling out the old friend to some very unsavory people.

 

13. (Dark Yellow) (Dark Red)

 

14. (Yellow 3) Captive. Credulity.

 

15. (Green 4). Flashback. More training.

 

16. (Blue 4) Trying to get away from the Truly Awful new badguys that have set their sights on Our Heroine. Betrayed by her herself.

 

17. (Yellow 4) Captive. Honesty.

 

18. (Dark Red) (Dark Yellow)

 

19. (Red 4) Antagonist. Murder.

 

20. (Blue 5) Sacrifice.

 

21. (Green 5) Flashback. Betrayed by herself.

 

22. (Red 5) Antagonist. Attempted rape.

 

23. (Yellow 5) Captive. Sophistication.

 

24. (Green 6) Flashback. Betrayal.

 

25. (Blue 6) Redemption.

 

 

First off, I can see I need to change the order of my “dark” colors. They disrupt as they are, rather than carry the story forward. I don’t like the alternative viewpoints of a storyline preceding the storyline. So I swapped dark red and dark yellow.

 

Also, looking at the last 6 chapters in sequence, I question the wisdom of separating the Sacrifice and Redemption by so many words. I’ll hold off on that, though, because I do like the wrapping up of the Green storyline in between the climatic points of the Blue storyline. Until I have the story more fleshed out, I won’t tinker overmuch with the structure.

 

The Red-Yellow storylines, though, I love the way they intertwine.

 

 

OK. Time to dig deeper. More in a bit.

 

-David

 

An update of last night’s structure:

 

 

Why? Because I didn’t want to change my key. And to break up the opening sequence of chapters. Going back to back with 13 year old girl chapters seemed iffy. And potentially confusing. So, I moved the beginning of the red/Antagonist storyline to follow the green/Heroine the Younger storyline.

 

Here’s what I’ve learned about writing novels: Why write one really big story, when you can write several shorter stories?

 

My experience writing single viewpoint novels has proven to me…that I get bored with it. The resulting novels might be good (I think they are), but they tend to grind on me some, as the writer. By building in multiple viewpoints and varying storylines (that, of course, interconnect), I find it far less grinding. More interesting over the process of writing.

 

Plus, it gives me the chance (here and there) to present the same events from different viewpoints. I don’t know why, but that really gives me a kick. Especially when I can totally change the interpretation of those events. I like that kind of shift.

 

As a side note, I think another reason I’ve gotten tired of long single-viewpoint novels is that I’ve spent a lot of time over the past few years reading 7 single-viewpoint novels of increasing length and mediocrity (you may have heard of them; they star this wizard kid with a scar on his forehead). They wore me out.

 

Anyway, enough of that. It’s time to build a plot.

 

First plot

 

1. A transport job goes wrong, wrong, wrong. Client lost. Betrayed by her family.

 

2. First attempt to recover the client, completely thwarted by the antagonist.

 

3. Pursuit, antagonist ambushed, nearly loses the second client. Tables turned. Whole new problem. Betrayed by her friend.

 

4. Trying to get away from the Truly Awful new badguys that have set their sights on Our Heroine. Betrayed by her herself.

 

5. Sacrifice.

 

6. Redemption.

 

Yeah, it’s vague. But I’m just getting started.

 

BUT! Do you see how its only 6 parts? Much easier than mapping out a whole 25 chapters.

 

Now, the second plot…which is, more or less, the reversal of the first.

 

1. Betrayed by her family. Conscripted.

 

2. Beginning training. Friendship. Trust.

 

3. Betrayed by her friend.

 

4. More training.

 

5. Betrayed by herself.

 

6. Betrayal.

 

Or, if not a full reversal, a reversal of outcome. The same trials, revisited, but moving towards a different outcome.

 

Yeah. I’m working this out as I go. How do you like the vague chapter concepts?

 

Red storyline:

 

1. Betrayal (of an “old friend”).

 

2. Revenge (on that “old friend”).

 

3. Mercenary. Selling out the old friend to some very unsavory people.

 

4. Murder.

 

5. Attempted rape.

 

The point of Red storyline is to more fully show what our heroine is currently capable of. How far she’s fallen. I’m still working that one out.

 

The Yellow storyline line:

 

1. Innocence.

 

2. Naiveté.

 

3. Credulity.

 

4. Honesty.

 

5. Sophistication.

 

Yellow is another view of the two sides, Green versus Red. Another view of the changes. Plus another 13 year old in way over her head. And, yeah, I get to use more adjectives.

 

Still a long way from finished. But I feel like I’m onto something.

 

Someday I’m going to write an article on “Chapter Theming”. I’ve found it helpful. But I’ve never used it like this before, defining the chapter by the theme before I know what the hell is going on.

 

High level. Very high level. But at least I can kinda see where I’m headed now.

 

-David